“Hurry! Back to school sales are here!”
Yes, we’re all seeing and responding to the annual call back to school. This American ritual is alive and well in central Ohio, and many of our Vineyard Columbus families are in full back-to-school mode.
As a lifelong educator, I wanted to offer a few “tips” to help you and your school-age child have a positive experience. This is not an exhaustive list, but I hope some of these suggestions will be helpful to you and your family.
Schools are your partners: It’s important to get connected and stay connected to your child’s school, as much as possible. Experts agree, engaged parents are one of the few common denominators for a successful school year. The schools are ready to be crucial partners for the health and well-being of your child.
Ask good questions, give less advice/judgement:
Be a more creative question asker than just asking, “How was your day?” Asking thoughtful open-ended questions will get your child talking and keep them talking. Try, “I know you like to read, what type of reading things did you do today?” Also, try not to judge or give too much advice based on how they answer your question. The goal is to keep them talking!
Be positive, even when you’re not feeling very positive:
There may be times when what you hear from your child isn’t very positive. As much as possible, try to frame the situation in a more positive light for your child. Try not to add “fuel to the fire” or “start a new fire.” Obviously, if there is a real concern, you’ll want to contact the teacher. However, it’s quite possible your child’s perspective is a bit negative and could use a positive twist.
Sleep:
One of God’s gifts to us is rest (sleep). Make sure your child is getting enough sleep each school night. Children of all ages need nine hours of sleep (particularly middle school/high school students), and getting less than six hours can really hurt their ability to focus and learn.
Go “device-free” throughout dinner and the evening on school nights:
Today’s schools are using devices successfully throughout the day. We all know how much students enjoy using devices for relaxation. However, think about limiting the screen-time during school days. Consider allowing some screen-time between after school and dinner. Then turn off devices for the remainder of the evening. Shared screen-time experiences together (T.V., movies, etc.) as a family should get special consideration.
Talk, read, engage with your child:
Related to the topic of “less screen-time” is more authentic engagement time. Hanging out together and engaging with your child in authentic experiences is critical in building a healthy child. Anything that leans into your relationship with your child adds equity to your “healthy relationship bank account.” Reading with your pre-school or elementary-age child each day has proven to help establish necessary language and reading skills. As your child gets older, try reading the same books they are reading for school and then talking about them together. Some young adult literature is absolutely riveting!
Don’t overschedule and don’t let them overschedule themselves:
Modern students tend to operate at a frenetic pace. Many students pack too many afterschool activities (school-oriented and outside-school experiences) on top of their busy school day. Although these experiences are good and desirable for both you and your child, please remember it’s easy to get too busy!
Watch for signs of mental health issues:
Be on the lookout for any signs of mental-health stress in your child. Some of the signs include:
· A lack of interest in former hobbies or activities
· Change in sleep or eating habits
· Changes in energy level
· Withdrawal from family or friends
· Significant mood swings or changes
If one or some of these signs are evident, you’ll want to open the door to a fuller type of conversation. Rather than asking, “How are you feeling?” try saying, “I’ve noticed changes in ______. Have you noticed the same thing? I’m just wondering what might be going on?”
Take time to care for yourself:
It’s easy to have a focus on caring for your children during these transitional times. Remember, you need to care for yourself, too. Inhale... exhale... slowly... relax! I know it’s hard to do this, but we all need to be reminded to slow down and care for ourselves.
Again, this isn’t an exhaustive list, but hopefully you’ll find some of these tips helpful as you start a new school year. Have fun!
Phil Niemie was an elementary school principal in the Dublin School System for almost two decades. After retiring, he taught education courses at several local universities and is now a pastor and ministry leader for the Next Gen Ministry at Vineyard Columbus.
